(Lauren Collins explaining Novak Djokovic)

man i went to make a stirfry tonight so i cut up a full onion and started frying that. Then got the porktenderloin from the fridge but it had turned kinda blueish green so had to pitch it. Problem is i already had the onion cooking so long story short i ate a whole onion solo. Threw on some ketchup to give er a little kick

-- text from my brother

(favourite passage from Wolf Hall + explanation of why I want to be an accountant)

Bad things diagram

Here is a diagram of why life is hard:

You can probably substitute any other weakness / stressful situation for "social."

I like a lot of people and I like a lot of social situations, but on bad days this is how I think life works.

(from Amy Hempel, "The cemetery where Al Jolson is buried")